mystics

For years I have been drawn to the "mystics," and after reading a good definition of a mystic I think I see why. According to one of my favorite authors/gurus/mystics, Eknath Easwaran, "mysticism is the conviction, born of personal experience, that there is a divine core in human personality which each of us can realize directly, and that making this discovery is the real goal of our lives. A mystic is anyone who has achieved this goal. The great mystics speak the same language, for they come from the same country of the soul. Their ranks include such luminous figures as Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Teresa of Avila, Sri Ramakrishna, the Compassionate Buddha, and Mahatma Gandhi, among others equally well known and relatively unknown." (From Conquest of Mind, page 9, by Eknath Easwaran.) I loved that phrase, "from the same country of the soul," because as I read different writings (yes, even of different faith traditions) of the mystics, there is most definitely a common language being spoken. Since leaving church 4 or 5 years ago, even delving into what I believe apart from cultural Western Christianity, I have at times wondered what to call myself. The closest I had come to nailing down an appropriate label or term was what Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz author) called "Christian spirituality," as far as a description of my belief or faith. But when I read that definition of mystic I decided I would say that I am "a mystic in the tradition of Christian spirituality." I don't see my spirituality as an "us" and "them" line of demarcation anymore, I only see an ever-expanding oneness that includes all of life, and it has the potential to blow my mind if I choose to let it. There is nothing more liberating and intoxicating than seeing God everywhere, in everything. And God is LOVE.

my ballerina

Jordan's ballet class performed at the hospital on Saturday, so she got to wear her recital costume (you can't see the bow in her hair, and she had a bow on each tap shoe, too). She really is a natural, and has proven herself as a good listener, also (always one of the winners in "Miss Kim Says...," which is like Simon Says). Her good friend, Jenna, is also in her class, which makes it extra fun for her. I keep thinking that eventually I'll have her switch over to martial arts, but if she's got some real gifting in ballet it would be a shame to take her out of it. She's naturally flexible and has excellent form, so for now, ballet it is.

Zach's belt promotion

If Zach had been wearing his gi the day Mychael and I got our belt promotions, Sensei was going to give him his green belt promotion. Since he wasn't, we did it at the end of the next regular class. Zach's smile was so big it hurt my face just to look at him! He tried to quit awhile back, and at first I was going to let him. That didn't sit with me well, and after a pep talk from Sensei about the kind of lesson that was teaching him (I completely agreed, and Jon had tried to convince me of the same thing earlier but I was being an overly-accommodating mother at the time) I made him come back. Since then, he's been more serious and seems to be having more fun, even (although some of that could be the addition of Daniela to our dojo...she's cute and she's about ten years old!). Part of me wants Zach to do karate because it's good for anybody to do it, but then part of me wants Zach to kick butt at it to show that diabetes doesn't stand in his way. He's got the body build and the technique to be very strong in karate, I look forward to seeing where this path leads for him. For Mychael, too, for that matter, because what I believe I see in him is far better than what I see in myself. When Mychael earns his black belt I think it's going to be something you won't want to miss...he really is a student of karate, it's important to him and he's always wanting to improve. Plus, he's got a lot of power...I know because I've sparred him on numerous occasions (which is interesting in and of itself because we're both afraid of hurting the other). I'm very proud of both of them.

Nathan has started back to soccer for the spring season, and he has turned out to be quite the aggressive and enthusiastic player! He says that when soccer season is over he's going to start back to karate...maybe because he realizes he needs to stay one step ahead of Zach. He's started doing pushups and sit-ups, trying to bulk up or something. My, he's changing by the day! He's definitely getting that adolescent look about him, with sharpening facial features, just looking more mature. That child keeps us laughing, too. He'll randomly quote some movie and it sends Mychael and I into fits of laughter. Last night during a family game of Yahtzee he busted out with, "Break the wrist, walk away. Break the wrist, walk away." For those of you not familiar, that's a line from Napoleon Dynamite. You should hear him do Ren and Stimpy, he's brilliant with his ability to imitate just about anything, and he really adds a healthy dose of humor to our home...which is why it's bittersweet to think about him going to school next year. On the other hand, he and Mychael make a good team, so I just know they're going to have a blast together at Hawbridge next year. I love hearing other people's stories about my kids, and I know I'll probably get some good ones about those two...

out of the mouths of babes...

Hopefully nobody judges me as a parent based on this!

Today our cat, Neo, was neutered and vaccinated. This is basically how Zach described it to Daniela, an eleven-year old girl, at karate: "Our cat's balls got too big so we had to take him to the vet to have them cut off." (As a side note, Daniela's parents raise horses so she was nonplussed by Zach's candor, she actually found it hilarious.)

As another side note, Jon nicknamed the cat "Nuts" awhile back, now he calls him "Hold the Nuts." So dark...

flower girl

Today during the big rainstorm we had, Jordan put on her raincoat and boots and went out in the woods to pick flowers (I think they're daffodils). I thought she was the picture of girlhood beauty with her wispy curls and big blue eyes.

keepin' it VERY real...

Boy, am I daring for posting these...this week, Nathan and Zach have played beautifully for hours and hours in their creative, created universe. At one point I did let them dump out the big bins of LEGOS so they could better sift for desirable pieces, and I loved hearing squeal after high-pitched squeal when they'd obviously found some long lost head or gun or whatever. It makes me a little sad to think Mychael used to be down there doing the same thing, and he does participate some (funny how that works when you take away the video games for extended periods of time). I have been so thankful that Nathan and Zach have each other because using their imaginations like that is still so important to both of them. I can remember being so involved in playing with my siblings like that, when you just don't want it to end. I think Zach could be an architect or have a career involving military strategy, he designs such elaborate battle scenes. Nathan brings me all manner of spacecraft that he's built, complete with secret compartments and moving parts. As big as this mess was (they actually cleaned most of it up tonight, using a broom and dustpan), it was totally worth it in my book.

Nathan's news, thoughts on homeschooling, etc.

I thought I would let everyone know that Nathan got his acceptance letter for Hawbridge last week, I think he's both excited and nervous. The girl we carpool with, Caroline, was really excited to hear it and says he's going to love it. Mychael thinks he's going to have the girls after him, he's such a charmer! I think Hawbridge will offer the perfect environment for Nathan-individuality, creativity, and kindness towards others. I just cannot say enough how impressed I have been with this school, and I've met some of the nicest parents, as well. One of the moms of a friend of Mychael's invited me to meet her for coffee sometime so we can get to know each other, so I've got that to look forward to on Thursday. After feeling like I didn't fit in with the homeschool community for so long, it has been like a breath of fresh air to find this kind of community. Don't get me wrong, I love homeschooling and I've met some wonderful people along the way, but overall I've sort of gone it alone. I just got my new science curriculum in the mail, called R.E.A.L Science Odyssey, and let me just say I haven't been this excited to teach science in a long time. I bought the Life (level one) curriculum, so the kids are going to be learning all about biology. I have also really enjoyed Sonlight, although we've gone at our own snail's pace, just now finishing Johnny Tremain. I feel like my kids have really gotten a better sense of the Revolutionary War, though, having taken our time with it. One thing I love about homeschooling is getting to learn all over again about history, it's so different this time around. What I would say is the foundation of my homeschool is reading, or the love of reading, which is why I've enjoyed Sonlight so much. I personally re-discovered my love for reading (other than children's books, which are my passion, really!) just in the past few years...I guess my children are now at that age where I have enough free time to read for leisure. I just finished Water for Elephants, which gets two enthusiastic thumbs-up from me, I mean it was brilliantly written.

Mychael was home today with another complex migraine. He had the hemiplegia and all like he did last time, but 2 1/2 hours after taking the "cocktail" he finally fell asleep for 3 hours and woke up with barely a dull headache. Took the Duke doctor over 4 hours to return my call, I curtly told him he was fine now, thank you very much. Anyway, that's about all the news I've got for now. I'm making spaghetti squash again, and Jon just walked in from his commute. God bless you all!

the big day...

breakfast table

the great indoors

Something Jordan "made" for me that she wanted me to take a picture of, so cute:

Nathan coined the term "the great indoors," because this child prefers to be in the house as opposed to outside, sadly enough (unless he's doing paintball). That's just his nature, he's a lot like Greg Heffley of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book series. In fact, I found him a Diary of a Wimpy Kid bookmark with a picture of Greg saying, "I'm really more of an indoor person." Anyway, it was such a gorgeous weekend, but with the virus my kids have been passing around they had become entirely too used to laying around inside, staying in their pajamas all day, so Jon and I literally had to force them outside (grant it, they probably were still getting their energy back, but STILL). At one point, I looked outside and saw Nathan just sitting on a tree stump in the woods, staring, and Zach was sitting motionless on the trailer we use for hauling. It cracked me up how pathetic they were looking, so I put the telephoto lens on my camera and went after them. It wasn't long before we were all running around and laughing, with everyone in a much better mood.

These are my boys with weird sock issues. One compulsively wears socks, and one compulsively won't wear socks (Jon observed recently). We call Nathan a Hobbit because most of the time he's barefoot with filthy feet. That and he eats two breakfasts most days...

You can run but you can't hide...

His suffering is almost unbearable...

Day two for these pajamas, baby. Jordan actually enjoys being sick, and griped the whole time she was still healthy while the boys were sick. The real reason is probably because I let sick kids stay in their pajamas, although there is a certain amount of pampering that goes along with it, too. It's not just that she's a hypochondriac, at least I hope!!

That dark hair is going as soon as I can afford it, probably in April, I just don't feel like myself without blonde hair.